I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
