He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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