At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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