omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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