We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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