Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
