Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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