Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
