Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
