with your own penis?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
