You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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