yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
