that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
