piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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