I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
