I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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