Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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