Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
