I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
