help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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