Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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