Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
