So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I believe in your delicious
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
