just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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