can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
