dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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