I am in a vortex of obligation.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
