Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
