doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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