??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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