Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
