I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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