i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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