remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
