her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
