You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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