Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
