i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
