Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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