I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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