woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
