so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
