In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
