You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
