So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
