now i know why i became what i already was.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
