how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
