Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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