I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Couch. On fire.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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