i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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